loving myself more

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Growing up is... exhausting. Surely, there must be a manual on how to adult and manage things better, right?! If there is any, I've missed it. I didn't read it and now, woosh, I blew the 20 candle on my birthday cake last April and got kicked into the fast lane of adult life. Woo-freaking-hoo.Turning into an adult also makes me feel like I have the need to always get myself loved and validated by some people in my life, which in return, bit me in the ass because sometimes, things doesn't go in our way. The people that we love might not love us back. The people that you're kind to sometimes will never treat you the same way as you expect to.

I find myself currently struggling to come with terms on how to manage myself and my emotions better. I keep bottling up my feelings of anger and disappointment especially when I'm in law school where everything is so so so stressful and fast-paced. Especially during the end of the semester when assignments keep coming in and the fact that I have to study everything for my finals that's going to start after Eid. I kept going back to Seremban every two weeks for these past two months just for the chance to distract myself.

But then I realized, "Hey, when am I going to appreciate myself more rather than caring of what people think of me?"

I learn to appreciate and love myself for every small things that I do. I spend more time in the kitchen nowadays, letting go of my anger by making dishes that I love and sharing them with my housemates and roommates. (p.s: I now have mastered the art of making tomyam) I spend more time for myself rather than for other people. Giving myself the amount of rests that I deserve. 

It might seem easy because I myself am an introvert but honestly, I don't know. I'm struggling so hard to prioritize myself but Silla repeatedly told me that I don't need to worry because we're all growing at different rates in life, and this is just me growing to be a better person all in all.

Anyway, here's a small self-care list from tumblr to help some of you who are going through tough times.


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